I Years had been from Home — The Count of Monte Cristo

I Years had been from Home ¹
And now before the Door
I dared not enter, lest a Face
I never saw before

Stare solid into mine ⁵
And ask my Business there－
"My Business but a Life I left
Was such remaining there?"

I leaned upon the Awe－ ⁹
I lingered with Before－
The Second like an Ocean rolled
And broke against my ear－

I laughed a crumbling Laugh ¹³
That I could fear a Door
Who Consternation compassed
And never winced before.

I fitted to the Latch ¹⁷
My Hand, with trembling care
Lest back the awful Door should spring
And leave me in the Floor－

Then moved my Fingers off ²¹
As cautiously as Glass
And held my ears, and like a Thief
Fled gasping from the House－

(F.440/J.609)

[1] I:: Edmond Dantes. This poem describes the returning of Edmond Dantes in The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas.
[5, 6] asked my Business:: "but they felt the sacredness of his grief, and kindly refrained from questioning him as to its cause."
[10] scanned the Windows:: "Leaning against a tree he remained long gazing on those windows at which the busy hand of the active old man might be daily seen training and arranging his floral treasures."
[15] Danger, Dead:: what Edmond had experienced.

his heart beat almost to bursting, his knees tottered under him, a mist vapour floated over his sight, and had he not clung for support to one of the trees, he would inevitably have fallen to the ground and been crushed beneath the many vehicles continually passing there. ─ The Count of Monte-Cristo (1846) by Alexandre Dumas