Of Course I prayed — Riddle Poem

Dickinson prayed for the publishing of her poems; however, she thought it would be better not to trouble readers with this smart misery, her riddle poem.

Of Course－I prayed－¹
And did God Care?
He cared as much as on the Air
A Bird－had stamped her foot－
And cried "Give Me"－⁵
My Reason－Life－
I had not had－but for Yourself－
'Twere better Charity
To leave me in the Atom's Tomb－⁹
Merry, and Nought, and gay, and numb－
Than this smart Misery.

(F.581/J.376)

[1] I prayed:: Dickinson prayed that the world would appreciate her poems.
[2] God:: a powerful person, an editor for authors.
[3] Air:: attitude, gesture, manner _{(OED 14a)}.
[4] Bird:: an exceptionally smart or accomplished person, frequently ironical _{(OED 4b)}. foot:: a combination of metrical elements of a poem.
[5] Give Me:: give her what she wants, publishing.
[6] Reason Life:: a writing life of poetry with reasoning.
[7] had not had:: Dickinson had no chance to publish. Yourself:: the reader.
[8] better Charity:: not to suffer from her smart riddle.
[9] Atom's Tomb:: a place to bury the tiny detail of a word. Atom:: the smallest conceivable portion or fragment of anything _{(OED 5)}; a word in a poem.
[10] Merry, Nought, gay, numb:: the nature of riddle poem.
[11] smart Misery:: a hard riddle poem as a misery.